Modernizing Your God To Be More Politically Correct

  Is your God looking a little outdated?  Are you embarrassed when you’re out in public with him, and run into your friends with their new hip God?  I have great news!  You don’t have to trade in your old outdated God for a new one, simply give him a little makeover.  With a little tweaking you can bring out that vibrant love, and cover up some of those unsightly blemishes of wrath, vengeance, and hate.  Before you know it your friends will be jealous of you, and of your new trendy God.

Lets face it, as Christians, your job here on earth is to win souls to Christ, correct?  To convince the masses of their need of eternal salvation, which your God so graciously provides.  This, in a sense, makes you a salesman.  Yes, your product is essentially free, but still it takes some selling to get people onboard with your guaranteed scheme that sounds just a little too good to be true.  So as any good salesman does, you need to paint your product in the best possible light.  Maybe cover up and hide a few of those dings and scratches.

So, let’s begin shall we?  First off, I would definitely highlight the LOVE, this is by far your products best feature.  It seems to catch people’s attention the most and is quite pleasing to the observer and potential customer.  To do this, start focusing on the more positive and compassionate verses of your owner’s manual, such as this one,  ” For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”  John 3:16
I would make this your go to passage.  It’s loving, compassionate, and for the most part free of controversy.

Now, about those dings and blemishes….  you may want to remove a couple of pages from the owner’s manual, or else it might make people question the validity of the love verse you just showed them for the umpteenth million time.  Maybe just use a little something to cover up those unsightly verses like this one, “for there I hated them: for the wickedness of their doings I will drive them out of mine house, I will love them no more: all their princes are revolters. Ephraim is smitten, their root is dried up, they shall bear no fruit: yea, though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb.” Hosea 9:15-16.  Or the ones that show your product ordering the murder of innocents like this one, ““Thus saith the LORD of   hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him   in the way, when he came up from Egypt. Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly   destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman,   infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.” I Samuel 15:2-3.

I would also mention that you might want to hide the many contradictions that are scattered throughout the owner’s manual of your product, but I think you’ve already got the point just reading the last couple passages.  I mean I get it, your God is a complex guy, he’s not going to be an easy sell, however I do have one final suggestion that just might fix all your problems.  Are you interested?  Read on then…

All around the world, and especially here in America there is a new phenomenon sweeping the country where you simply build your own religion from scratch.  As long as you believe in God, show up for a church service or two, and occasionally share that ‘I Love Jesus’ picture on Facebook you’re in the clear.  You can pretty much customize your God to your own needs and desires, and you need absolutely no Biblical evidence to back you up.  As long as you believe ‘in your heart’ that it is true, it shall be so.  You want a guardian angel who follows you everywhere you go?  Done.   You want your loved ones who have gone before you to be floating over you seeing every special moment of your life?  Done.  Would you like your pets to meet you inside the pearly gates?  I do believe that can be arranged.  Do you want a loving, compassionate, forgiving God who understands your mistakes, and loves you unconditionally for the wonderful person you are on the inside?  I don’t see why not.  Would you like to maybe forget about that whole hell fire and brimstone thing?  Maybe omit the vengeful God that orders not only the merciless killings of the wicked, but also the innocent women and children (even the animals for crying out loud)?  Done and done!  Congratulations, you have now taken what some people have accused of being a myth, and made it a completely absurd and laughable fairy tale, but hey, your God is now hip, a little more politically correct, and fits in to this modern world quite well.

 

8 Comments


  1. Joe, a compelling intro. You make some valid observations despite some which are misconceptions held by some Christians and atheists alike. Trying to create and customize your own God is perhaps one mans oldest preoccupation. Often people will blend preferable aspects of different religions and philosophies to formulated a god which approves of their behavior (syncretism). The point is every person tries to satisfy their spiritual hunger…and not everyone follows the correct path. Not everyone can be right. There has to be a correct doctrine regarding humanity and divinity. God is not an easy concept as the things of God surpass the wisdom of mere mortals. It’s one thing to extract snippets of scripture to make a case of something and quite another to examine the collective work of the Bible in context for purpose of scholarly reasoning. For me, my primary experience for a Christian is to enjoy my relationship with God. Evangelizing should be a natural outflow motivated out of love for others which means we don’t want to see anybody face the judgment. I prefer to take a logical approach in presenting God to others. For example, considering all the forms of life and the wonders of creation, isn’t it possible that there is someone smarter than us who is responsible for it all?

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    1. First of all, thanks for the comment and taking the time to read my little post. I am quite new to this world of blogging and this is in fact the first comment I’ve received so I was happy to see it. Second of all, sorry I’m so late responding, ironically this agnostic was busy Christmas shopping today haha. (I was actually thinking of writing about an agnostic’s Christmas) Yes, this post was mostly aimed at the many Christians I know who have customized their religion to fit their needs and lifestyles, and it seems we are in agreement on that part, however, maybe disagree on how we perceive God himself. I honestly try not to take scripture out of context, I’m sorry if it appears that way, but the only source of evidence for me to look at concerning God is the Bible, and if I cannot accept all of it as His divine word, then I honestly cannot accept any of it…….

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      1. ….. Before I became agnostic, I myself, was a Christian, raised in a Christian home and a Christian school. It wasn’t an easy thing for me to face the doubts I had about the God I had dedicated my life too. Very few Christians were prepared to defend their faith, and answer some of the tough questions that so many people have, so for that I commend you. I have actually considered down the road of possibly doing what would turn into a seemingly endless journey and do a series of through the Bible with an agnostic. Where I dive into the Bible book by book (which I have read several times before) and write about what I’m reading as I go. Dissecting it with as much of an open mind as I can possibly have. It would be a lot of work, but who knows, by the end of it I could have a definitive answer one way or another. Thanks again for taking the time to read this and for your comment. Look forward to more conversations down the road.

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    2. John, I am honestly curious as to what context you can reason the killing of innocent people?

      “And the Lord our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people.
      And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain:” Deuteronomy 2:33-34 King James Version

      That’s just the second chapter. I’m sure you know that Deuteronomy is full of genocide,

      This is one of the BIG issues I had as I began to doubt everything I was ever taught. When my 8 year old son asked me to NOT read various parts of the bible because he was having nightmares….I began to question things. I tried to reason with myself and I was coming up short on answers. So please inform this mother on how savagely slaughtering innocent babies can be reasoned within the full context of the bible?

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      1. God’s methodology changes throughout history because culture changes. But there are three components to God’s approach for redemption: Provision, Mercy, and Judgment. In the Deuteronomy text the key peoples are the Israelites and the Canaanites. The Israelites represent God’s chosen people to display proper worship and the Canaanites represent the enemies of God. God provided for His people with land (Canaan) representative of God’s care. The Canaanites rejected God and received judgment. God’s justice dictates judgment as in today’s judicial system. As for the children of the Canaanites, their early death was merciful. Children are not accountable for sin until they mature enough to know better. They get a free pass to heaven. Chances are that if the children lived to be adults, they would have faced judgment for their rebellion against God. One thing about the King James Version is that some words are not adequately interpreted. That’s why a little bit of elbow work is required when trying to accurately interpret and understand the Bible. I’m no scholar but I have enough skill dig a little deeper. I understand things more now than when I started but still don’t understand everything. One thing for sure, the overarching message of the Bible is reconciliation with God through Jesus Christ, who was resurrected from the dead. That’s the basket where I put ALL my eggs. But my belief is not predicated on knowledge alone, there is the supernatural miracle of being born again, through faith in God’s promises. Peace to you.

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        1. Oh John, John, John…. I so appreciate your knowledge of the book you follow, but I don’t even know how to respond to your defense of God’s actions. I almost see Christians as the mothers and God as the child, they seem to defend him no matter what inadequacies he may have. Why the mystery, John? Why is it so hard to dig and find the real truth about your God? I would assume he would want the world to know he is God, the one and only god, but instead he’s shrouded in mystery, and good hearted people that really want to live the right way are left to try to decipher the truth between hundreds of different religions and millions of different doctrines……..

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          1. ……. What about the people born to the wrong culture? With the wrong religion drilled into their head from the time they’re born? Christianity to them is as absurd as Islam is to me. They have almost no chance. Or what if they are actually the ones that are right and I’m doomed because of the culture I was born into. Am I searching for the truth to the wrong religion? Why does your god not interact with this world the way he once did? He has changed? Why has your unchanging god changed his methodology? If he kills children to show mercy, why doesn’t he kill the millions of children suffering now? The ones that will die before they become adults anyway. The ones that spend every single moment of their precious little lives in unbearable pain. I guess God has a plan. I guess I should never question him or his methods…. mostly because if I do, I’ll realize that a lot of things about my god isn’t adding up.


  2. I hear what you’re saying, Joe. I hope you find what you are looking for.

    Reply

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